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everything i wish, will never come true

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At least we dig each other Sep. 13th, 2007 @ 02:41 am
10 points to anyone actually using LJ anymore. i nearly forgot my old password for this beast

10 more points to anyone taking the time to read this. I guess that kinda shows who your old friends are.

I dont actually care if anyone reads this, but if you do, please dont disregard this as an aaron-brown-weekly-life-revelation (sorry aaron, also seeing how you probably WILL read this as one of the last few remaining survivors on LJ). I got out of my bed at 2:45 am and scrounged my way to livejournal, because i felt it was actually the only place where i could open myself up and have it mean <i>something</i>. Nobody takes a Facebook post seriously.

To the point of this message:
I need to say that Dig by Incubus is the best song in the world at this moment. I hadnt even listened to their most recent CD since it came out, though it was on my computer. Josh, my roommate, had made a couple feeble attempts at playing the opening riff, and it brought me to playing the song a couple hours ago. Now after having listened to it about 10 times, i cant deny the vibration it sends resonating through my nerves. Its that feeling when something is just beautiful and you dont know what else to do but listen. I know i probably wouldnt have this personal of a connection with a song, if i hadnt just seen Incubus play at rockfest a few weeks ago. Or the fact that Brynna definitely was singing along, yet I had no idea what song it was. It definitely puts me right back in the show, Columbia Meadows, down in the pit getting kicked in the head by crowd surfers and holding onto Brynna so she didnt trampled, and loving every goddamn minute of it.

I only wish I had a press pass for that show, having been spoiled with one at the previous week's Warped Tour in the same location. That way i could couple this message very personally to a slightly fisheyed and overly contrasted picture of Brandon Boyd taken from the stage. In a perfect world, where all the right messages get to all the right people, I want the band to know how eternally grateful i am and always will be of their amazing songs: Dig, Drive, I Miss You, Antigravity (summer love), 11am, Warning, Wish You Were Here, Nice To Know You... i really could name every song, and i think many of you/us can agree they are the best band of our time

Tonight has made me care that much less about how swamped i am in all my classes during only the 3rd week of my sophmore year.

Goodnight everyone, whoever and wherever you are. This one is for you
Current Location: 9030 N Van Houten
I'm feeling: complacentcomplacent
I'm hearing: take a wild guess

for the cleavage queen Jan. 19th, 2006 @ 12:08 am
due to the requests of a few certain people (hi ladies) i am finally updating my lj. its been.. uh... idk about a month. im definitely too lazy to go back and find out when the last time i updated was. do i you think im THAT motivated? eh.. maybe later.

so.. where to start?

how about christmas: first year ever i managed to never touch a christmas tree. except bumping into the lovely one at coris house (she probably pushed me >:-O ), and helping my mom move the one OFF her porch because she decided it was too much hassle anymore, i never came into contact with festive intentions. and yet again this year i listened to the droning of my mother bitch about my cousins. other than that, i spend a bunch of money... got some stuff. my dad got me a new camera (nikon s4). its pretty sweet except that he didnt get a memory card for it (and has yet to) so im stuck with the 3-pictures-worth of space the camera can hold natively.

that reminds me, i need that card for photography class next semester, which segways beautifully into how much i wish school would die. For the first time in my high school experience, this finals session i actually have two teachers giving cumulative final tests for the semester. ironically both teachers are in their first year of teaching the class in question (mr lurie for senior sem, and dr sheu for ib bio 2). at least i have the saving grace of not being one of those clinically insane children embarking on the abyss of the IB Diploma (*cough*aaronemilydianealekstiffanyjuliettesophiakarengracemervingemmaetcicouldgoon*cough*). Internal Assessment should be your own essay about how you rate your mental status at any given time. but seriously, ill be glad when these finals are over. it will be free(r) sailing from then on. well... until next year when it starts over again with 3x workload. but lets not think about that now

lets see... new years! i went to my first real party, which i know some of you will think im a loser, but really i dont see the benefit of drinking heavily... unless you are unattended with lots of girls. i tagged along with coris "crew" to an apartment being led by a large gay guy serving margaritas. "are all you guys at least 18?" "..no." "well tonight youre 21!" The great thing about camera phones is catching the moments of druken boredom and/or madness
Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usFree Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us
and some of you (well... aaron) may remember mike cero: now your typical baseball fan as exemplified here:
Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

EDIT: new years part deux: i forgot to mention that the cops started patrolling the neighborhood of said party and the guys called from outside and warned we should probably leave. of course the drunk people took it as OMG POLICE EVERYWHERE! and of course the guys calling joked around saying there were sirens in all directions. so all shit broke loose as if a drug deal when bad (anyone seen Requiem for a Dream... supermarket scene). people scrambling over other people to get out the door, clothes, drinks, shoes flying in all directions. i laughed as one of two people not drinking. mike kissed 3 girls that night i believe.

oh while im on pictures, i snapped this one with my phone at pioneer. thought it was pretty sweet
Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

everyones favorite holiday, valentines day, is coming up. and bali too, which i doubt ill be going to. i wonder when morp is... i should prolly start planning for that

oh and in other news i hate my job. last weekend i took my third trip of the month to west linn (my car is falling apart) to help a disabled guy with his computer. nothing against disabled people, but this guy was an arrogant jackass. erica and meghan said they needed more guys at baskin robbins, so i applied with the hope that ill get a job thats not quite so frustrating. and possibly one that has something the workplace calls a "schedule" (definitely never got one from my current boss)

anyways... i wish everyone a smooth and stress free finals week (yeah.. thats gonna happen) and i'll see you all on the other side

I'm feeling: tiredtired
I'm hearing: ben harper

my baby is gone Dec. 21st, 2005 @ 08:59 pm
tmrw morning cori leaves at 11 for sun river and shes going to be gone until monday. im going to miss her a lot. its going to be very boring around here without her and ill prolly just lounge around the house a lot.

this is probably the least spirited christmas ever. dont get me wrong, im not complaining, its just kinda funny because of how it all turned out. seems that nobody has any money lately. i dont, my mom doesnt, my grandma doesnt, rest of my moms family isnt doing much for xmas stuff, just the ritual dinner and stuff but not much in the presents department. although i do believe my dad is getting me a nikon SLR, so if hes doing what i think hes doing then that will be the only real present ill be getting. like i said i dont have much money though so my mom said i could get away with burning a bunch of dvds for ppl and my grandma who wants country music cds for her car. yay im out of dvdrs so that means i need to buy more. woo hoo.

gotta get those college essays.... well i at least should start them, jah?

tmrw: annual chocolate teddy bear cookie making party with friends. they have 4 kids. sigh. oh shit i have to get them presents too .... gah!

well anyways i hope everyone has a fun chrismahanukwanzakahramadan.

here's to another eventful year
I'm feeling: boredbored
I'm hearing: some random techno junk

these are your good years, so dont take my advice Dec. 9th, 2005 @ 01:33 am
im gonna predict the number of ppl who ever see my updates is rather low, so the number of people who see my actual livejournal (not through your friends page) is probably no one. but id like to bring to attention the title of my page. 'everything i wish, will never come true'. yeah its a fall out boy lyric and its been up on my main LJ since the say i created it. well low and behold its come full circle again.

i really love this fall out boy song, since i might as well just bury myself in their music again and drown out everything going on around me. in particular the acoustic Yule Shoot Your Eye Out which the first line is the title of this entry. i find it appropriate given the season

these are your good years, so dont take my advice
you never wanted the nice boys anyways
and i'm of good cheer
cuz ive been checking my list
the gifts youre recieving this year will be:
one akward silence
and two hopes you cry yourself to sleep staying up waiting by the phone
and all i want this year
is for you to dedicate your last breath to me
before you bury yourself alive

dont come home for christmas
youre the last thing i wanna see underneath the tree
merry christmas, i could care less

happy new years baby
youre only the best gift i could ever ask for
dont call me up when the snow comes down
its the only thing i want this year
I'm feeling: restlessrestless
I'm hearing: um. that song

fuck the tango, do the fandango Dec. 1st, 2005 @ 12:00 am
at the exact same second
1) techno started playing (Novaspace - Time After Time, good song)
2) i looked down at the clock on the computer that i never look at and it said 12:00 AM December 01 2005 which made me think "whoa." as much as id not like to allude to keanu reeves

so i see everyone frantically entering their college apps... and maybe its just me and my complete lack of knowledge of the college process, but whats the big deal about getting them in right now for early action. i know some colleges have deadlines right now but it seems way too many people are freaking out about it just like every other essay-requiring event in the recent school years. or maybe its just me

i also had the misfortune of realizing that i havent actually taken or registered for the SAT2s or ACT yet so that pretty much rules out 3 or 4 colleges i was maybe planning on applying for but idk why im saying this because none of you care. if anything you may look at it as less competition for caltech or cornell. however not like i would get into those if i applied anyways...

i particularly liked how shocked/surprised Andrei's mother (Lidia Scumpu, my school-appointed college advisor) was when i mentioned i had considered applying to Yale just for the hell of it. she suggested i set my sights toward Berkeley. wow thanks big improvment. a good family friend graduated from berkeley and came to be an extremely successful divorce attorney with 4 adopted kids. top that! *shakes head in self-loathing*

im also wondering whether alex mastera will have the initiative to say anything to me when he comes back to visit for christmas. i challenge him to respond to this since it will be incredibly ironic if he even sees it.

happy december everyone. now bring on the snow dammit

EDIT: oh yeah so on an unrelated note my dad got another mercedes. for anyone who has been keeping tabs on our driveway over the last couple years (i guess i hope thats no-one) you would know its like the 15th classic mercedes my dad has dealt with. although this time its actually kinda impressive. 1971 300SEL with a 3.5 small block V8 for those of you who know what that means. whats funny is that theres already mine and his plus another for parts and then another '71 280SE that is another guys' thats sitting here while he is out of town. so with this new one there are now 5 Mercedes in our driveway, mine being the newest at 1983.... my dad is weird.
I'm feeling: indifferentchilly
I'm hearing: basically maroon 5 live and studio cds over and over
Other entries
» bleh
Worst. Thanksgiving. Ever.

thursday: go to aunt and uncles house for dinner. "dinner" at 2pm. looking forward to having fun with cousins. cousins are somewhere else. stuck with old people. ate. played dominoes.
friday: went to work for the first time in over a week. despite week without work, boss still cant come up with 2 hours of stuff for me to do. get previous paycheck. $37. whoo hoo.
tonight (saturday): start doing yardwork for aunt again. 4 hours cleaning gutters and raking leaves. $48. yay. come home and peel lots of potatoes. go to traditional dinner saturday dinner with friends. person my age shows up and gets drunk at her family event. i make awesome mashed potatoes and get no compliments. i clean kitchen after party for 20 people at someone elses house. drunk girl leaves with her boyfriend and other friend to get more drunk. drive home with my mom and listen to her bitch about X number of other stupid things drunk girl did recently and how irresponsible she is. get home at 1am, no chance to see cori, so find nothing better to do than update livejournal.

and i wish someone would apply to college for me.
» bored as usual

so you know how you get really bored and start browsing random sites and eventually end up at someones Myspace? (because basically everything bad can somehow be traced back to FOX)... anyways then you start looking at their friends myspaces and soon enough youre taking an online quiz because the results are in a cool graphic display. thus:

You are a

Social Liberal
(66% permissive)

and an...

Economic Liberal
(35% permissive)

You are best described as a:
You exhibit a very well-developed
sense of Right and Wrong and
believe in economic fairness

» deja vu
i was thinking about how totally gone to shit my memory has been today, and how i would go about describing that in an LJ update, and then i realized i watched Eternal Sunshine earlier today (with gemma cuz we were both so bored) and i started laughing because of how ironic that is. bascially i cant remember anything right now, and lately in general. i must have alzhiemers or something, im not kidding... its just so weird... i cant remember the homework in my senior sem class, and i cant remember half of the peoples names in the class either. i cant remember .... uh... you have got to be fucking kidding me i cant even remember what i was going to type and was thinkign about 10 seconds ago. argh. something about ... ARGH why the hell cant i remember? i just get a big blank.

do you ever get that feeling? like it happens all the time in class, history or english. ill have an idea, running through my mind, ill raise my hand, and if i dont say it over and over in my head so i know exactly what it is, i will forget it in the 15 seconds it takes to get called on. then i end up putting my hand down... or getting called on and going to say my great idea and trying to access that memory... and i just blank... and stop... and put my hand down anyways.

it happens around the house too. earlier today i was looking for a box of labels. i KNEW i had seem them like the day before, because i had the photographic memory picture of some words on the box or somethin, but i couldnt remember where... so i looked all over the house in all the places in sight. after 15 minutes, i gave up, came back to my desk, started doing something else, and like an hour later happened to look down and there was the box; if it was a snake it would have bit me. ive lost a pair of sunglasses. i lost a sock. i lost some pens. i lost my tv remote for a couple weeks before finding it in my bed... i probably have ADD... maybe sitting in front of a 22" CRT for 10 hours a day isnt doing my brain good

good thing im not taking spanish... oh god i would do so horrible... trying to memorize things and think in long streams of thought.

fucking hell i still cant remember what i was going to talk about earlier. argh. goodnight everyone (maybe this lack of sleep is getting to me as well)
timestamp: 2:47 am nov 4 2005

PS. wow i didnt know it was the 4th. i should really get some college stuff done.
PPS. oh yeah i have a cold too. sore throat. yay!
PPPS. oh yeah again. my dad is in costa rica until sunday night. party at my house on saturday night.
PPPPS. i love Cori Doll.
» forever-ever and a day
do you ever come across some random song in your playlist, it sticks in your head, and for the rest of the day you cant get it out of your head. then you finally go search out the rest of the songs by that artist and come to a realization that this music just makes you feel like you want to drive really fast and sing probably as loud as you can. i found some:
its my new driving music. nobody will probably appreciate it, except Mills, because its rather like Thrice, but more bearable and more galvanizing. (heh that makes me think of brynna and lauren and the chemical brothers) ... anyways.

im so broke right now. got about $35 in my bank account and no incoming in sight. and of course my car is about empty and so theres $50+ to fill it (yeah, fuck you diesel). my boss had me working about 4 hours/week, which is like $25 every 2 weeks. wow. what a paycheck. if ever i was excited about something, it was that. so i applied at best buy (this was a couple weeks ago) and called him to ask him if i could put him down as a reference on my application. him: "er... yeah thats fine." then he called me back 10 minutes later to talk about it. apaprently he's desperate to not lose me, but i told him i wouldnt let it interfere and i didnt want him making up work that didnt need to be done just to raise my hours. well thats what he did, so now (get ready for this) im working about 6 hours a week. wow again. what a surprise. so i reapplied at best buy yesterday and didnt bother to put down any references.

so yeah i went to whs homecoming with cori and 12 others. it was crazy. we were an hour late to the dinner reservation at Stanfords on the waterfront, because one group took highway 30 (wtf?!) and got lost completely. then we got to the dance at 9, spent 20 minutes getting lots of pictures, then most of the rest of the time i was following cori around as she jumped from friends to friends around the dance. i think we had maybe about 5 minutes to ourselves. so yeah i think ill try and get cori to go with me to shs hc so we can have more fun on our own, more liesurely, less pressure, etc

omfg im going to kill someone. my dad is having poker upstairs and anyone who knows my house (ok, not many of you) knows that the floor above me is really creaky and squeaky. so basically 6 guys in wooden chairs on wood floor with music and yelling and im right underneath it...

hmm yeah i need to get my senior pictures done... about that... *sigh* i hate pictures

EDIT: i would like to take this time to acknowledge the recent outburst of everyone referencing the Ladder Theory. i do believe i was the one who started that. that is all
idk how many of you are familiar with the 'net phrase "RTFM"... i know mastera is, but who knows if he reads this anymore. zeb might, and thats about it. but i keep finding this link in my Firefox bookmarks and every time i pass over it, i click, and laugh heartily because it reminds me that there is still good and pure things in this world. obviously this not being one of them

Q209354 - HOWTO: Read The Fucking Manual

best part: "References: ...Q171146 HOWTO: Convert absolutely everything to XML" -


if you are severely confused at this or any point, my sincere apologies. calm yourself down with some cute puppies
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